What my favorite cappuccino taught me about uncomfortable conversations [VIDEO]

Have you ever been in a situation where you had a chance to speak up, but you didn’t….because you didn’t want to feel uncomfortable, or make someone else feel uncomfortable?

When you don’t speak up, you deprive yourself of an opportunity to share your expertise, and you deprive your audience of insights and education that could have had an impact on their lives.

Here’s how the story of how an uncomfortable situation unfolded….told from the point of view of a failed cappuccino.

(Full transcript below).

 

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

Have you ever been in a situation where you had a chance to speak up, but then you DIDN’T, because you didn’t want to feel uncomfortable, or you didn’t want to make someone else feel uncomfortable, or you just didn’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation?

A few weeks ago, I went over to one of my very favorite Italian cafes in the area to get my very favorite Italian cappuccino. I don’t get it often, but when I do, it’s something that I REALLY look forward to. And because I’ve been going to this café for years and I’m somewhat of a “regular,” sometimes they’ll give me extras. They’ll give me a large when I order a small, or they’ll give me a double when I order a single. But regularly, I order a small, single —  because when I have a small, I can put just the right balance of sugar and cocoa to the cappuccino that really makes the cappuccino that I love.

So on this particular day, I was eagerly waiting my cappuccino. The man behind the counter handed it to me and he said, with a little bit of a wink, “I made it a double.”

At first I was in a bit of panic, because I thought to myself, “the delicate balance of my cappuccino is going to be off.” But the man was SO happy to have given me this little bonus, and I didn’t want to make him feel bad. So I thanked him profusely, I put a little extra sugar and a little extra milk, and a little extra cocoa, and I hoped that I re-created the delicate balance that I always enjoyed so much, albeit in this larger format.

But I got into my car and I very quickly realized that this was NOT the cappuccino that I was looking forward to. I took a few sips, trying to convince myself that I liked it. But it was strong, it was bitter, and it was clear that the delicate balance of sugar and cocoa was way off. By the time I got home, I just couldn’t drink anymore, and poured it down the sink.

I didn’t want to say anything to the man at the café because I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable, or hurt his feelings about not wanting to accept his generous offer of a double.

But in the end, who loses out?

Well, *I* lost because I didn’t get the cappuccino that I wanted. And HE lost out because he was trying to be nice and give me an extra little bonus, but little did he know that in the end, I barely drank it.

So where is the lesson here?

As a public speaking and presentation skills trainer and coach, I see it all the time – the need to avoid uncomfortable situations, and uncomfortable feelings. OUR uncomfortable feelings, and creating uncomfortable feelings in others. So if you find yourself avoiding situations where you could speak up at a meeting, saying “yes” to a presentation, or holding yourself back from sharing your expertise, because you’re feeling uncomfortable and you don’t like that feeling.

But who loses out when you don’t step up, speak up, and share your expertise and your insights?

First — YOU do, because you’re not getting a chance to share your expertise, share your insights and really, the opportunity to possibly change someone’s life with what you are presenting.

Then – the audience loses out too, because they’re not gaining any value from what you have to share.

So you’re not getting the cappuccino YOU want and they, while they think the have all the information they need, they never know that you are not giving them their best, or that you had more to share.

Again I ask… what is the lesson from all this?

The next time I go to my favorite Italian cafe and I am given a double, or a large when I ask for a small, I will put myself out there to have that uncomfortable conversation with the super nice, generous man to say, “This is exactly how I want my cappuccino –a small cappuccino so that I could have the exact balance of sugar, and cocoa, and cappuccino that I need.”

And hopefully, despite the initial feelings of discomfort, he could be happy knowing that when I walk out of the store, I’m a happy customer that got exactly what I was hoping for.

So the next time you have an opportunity to speak up or to give a presentation, and you’re feeling overwhelmed by the uncomfortable feelings that come from the nerves, that come from the overwhelm of focusing all your content into an essential message, and that come from how to engage your audience and leave them with something of value… then feel free to give me a call. We can talk about how to make sure that your audience get the best from you.

And that you get the best of your cappuccino.

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Want to chat about getting over your uncomfortable feelings so that you could speak up, stand out, and share your expertise in a way that engages an audience? Contact me today!